Someone said that if a Martian tried to determine what we earthlings are like from TV, he would conclude that the earth is populated by men with ED and women with constipation.

There are problems other than what these ads imply about the American psyche. Costs for a 30-day supply of 21 prescription drugs advertised currently on TV were found to range from $118 to $284, with an average price of $196. It does not require a rocket scientist to figure out why these drugs are so expensive.

Appeals to medical professional organizations have been fruitless. Could it be that their executives believe the ads bring new patients to physicians?

I have also found writing my congressmen to be the epitome of futility. Here, a review of the source and amount of campaign contributions may also explain why nothing is done. It would seem that Big Pharm most assuredly learned from the Mafia.

That costs of drugs are inflated both by TV advertising and by the lavish treatment of political figures is of concern for two reasons. First, many medicines are simply out of reach for low-income people who may suffer or die as a consequence. Second, the frequent emphasis on sexual, bowel, and urinary functions is hardly what I would want my grandchildren and great-grandchildren, who are frequently glued to the tube, to watch.

Believing that pharmaceutical executives take an interest in how these expensive ads are perceived, I decided to let some of them know how I felt.

Remember the Detrol LA ads that showed women dashing for a bathroom when they encountered running water - viz., a sprinkler on a golf course, or water being poured from a decanter on a conference table? I wrote the manufacturer, showing a copy of my letter to a law firm, that every time their commercial came on the tube, I peed on the couch, and I felt they should buy me a new one. I had no response, but the running water disappeared almost immediately, and I haven't seen any Detrol LA ads lately.

Then Pfizer came out with Caduet - touted as one drug for two conditions, showing a female or a male morphing into two identical people and back into one. I wrote them that this was a ginger-peachy idea, but my problem was not high blood pressure and high cholesterol, but asthma and athlete's foot, and I insisted that they create and provide one drug to deal with these two conditions.

Discretion prevents me from telling how I think I may have influenced the cancellation of the Pepto Bismol diarrhea treatment ads showing the overweight middle-aged women in business suits and sensible shoes dancing in front of the office copier and making wiping motions on their bottoms.

There are many creative people among your readers. The frequent intrusion of ads focusing on erectile dysfunction and on urinary problems may lend themselves to cogent ways that manufacturers could be advised about their impact.