Sandra Brown, a psychotherapist, author and director of the Web-based Institute for Relational Reduction and Public Pathology Education, led a workshop to help women spot men who abuse or take advantage of women. The session at Durham Regional Hospital was the last in a series the Durham Crisis Response Center held for Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

"What is a dangerous man? Most women would answer: one who is physically violent," Brown said in the introduction for the workshop. "But abusive behavior is often more insidious.

"Men who want mothers, not partners, who prey on lonely, passive women, who are mentally ill, addicted, or emotionally unavailable, or who won't go away when asked to leave all fall into this dangerous category," she said.

Many women end up in abusive relationships because they don't see the warning signs, Brown said. Most abusers fit into one of eight categories:

Permanent Clinger

Description: Needy, gives lots of attention for having all his needs met, fears rejection, jealous of others and wants you to give up your entire life for him.

Red Flags: Begs you to be with him, threatens to injure himself or revert to negative behaviors if you leave, puts himself down so you can build him up, has very few close friends or interests, has had multiple failed relationships.

Parental Seeker

Description: Wants a parent more than a partner, needs you to manage his life, has difficulty doing adult things.

Red Flags: Doesn't help with adult chores, wants to be told what to do, is childlike in his emotional needs, underachieves to avoid responsibility and has a history of being rescued by women.

Emotionally Unavailable

Description: Is involved with someone else or his career, says he's unhappy but wants you to be by his side.

Red Flags: Promises to leave his partner but doesn't, puts other things ahead of you, has a history of affairs.

Hidden Life Guy

Description: Has other lives that can include women, kids, a criminal past, diseases, etc., that you find out about only after you're at risk.

Red Flags: Avoids direct questions, has secret-keeping behaviors, can't always be reached directly, won't disclose personal information, goes lengths of time without contact.

Mentally Ill

Description: Has a mental illness, havoc and instability are regular occurrences in his life.

Red Flags: Had counseling as a child, currently diagnosed with a personality or conduct disorder.

The Addicted

Description: Can be mistaken for "fun seeking," but this fun can include sex, gambling and other addictions, thrill-seeking and drama.

Red Flags: Slips in and out of recovery, quits one addiction but moves on to another.

The Violent

Description: Starts out sweet but lapses into blaming, shaming and harming.

Red Flags: Yells even when talking, talks down, has history of assaults, harms animals, violent while using drugs or alcohol, frequently irritable.

Emotional Predator

Description: Plays to women's emotions, can be whatever any woman needs him to be, is very in tune with a woman's body language.

Red Flags: Sweeps you off your feet, seeks women whose emotional and sexual boundaries he can violate, seeks women who are bored, lonely or on the rebound.

Breaking the level of intensity with one of these types requires not having sex, separating yourself physically from him, having someone to keep you focused on managing your emotions and restructuring your life, she said. When it comes to abusive relationships, it is best to have a plan and use family and community resources, including domestic violence agencies and law enforcement, she added.

"Each time that your mind tries to take you there, about all the good things in the relationship, that's all fantasy thinking because pathology does not change," she said.. "Move those thoughts outside of your head and challenge your own thinking and say, 'Yup, I'm sitting here missing a psychopath.'"